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| Parking lot in Crestwood, New York, 2006 © Amber Iragui |
words in white
words in whiteS O L I T U D E
It’s something they carry with them
– explorers night shifts seamen –
like a good pair of binoculars
or a camera case
perfectly and deeply compartmented.
It has a quiet patina
that both absorbs and reflects
like a valuable instrument
you have to sign for
– contract with alone –
and at the end of the voyage
you get to keep.
Sometimes it’s very far away.
Sometimes so close
at first you think the person next to you
is picking up putting down
a personal cup
a book in another language
before you realise what
– when talk has moved off
leaning its arms
on someone else’s table –
is being
handed to you.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
I am reading another book about introversion, this time Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. Well, I just started it last night and I'm only through the Introduction. However, I am already engrossed. On our way home after dinner last night, riding the subway up the West Side, I felt compelled to pull it out and read instead of chatting with my husband. I hate chatting on the subway. Which is just another way I am an introvert, I'd much rather read or silently people watch.
One thing that comes up over and over in the literature about introverts is stimulation. Introverts are generally more sensitive to stimulation, and people are very stimulating. Lots of people are definitely over-stimulating. Having to make small talk with lots of people, wheeeeeew.
I am easily over-stimulated. I don't like taking my kids to the playground, for example. It's a chore to have to interact with all the other moms and dads, make small talk while keeping an eye on Ike and Genevieve. I usually take my kids for a walk in the park instead. I'm thrilled if I run into another mom I know and we can chat while walking. But that free-floating sort of interaction with a bunch of vaguely familiar faces, bleech.
And, although this is nothing special, I hate television. I really hate it, I've always hated it. It's overstimulating: so many people, so many annoying, annoying people. People I Don't Know. On every channel. So many heart breaks, confrontations, absurd expectations, bad choices, ruthless killings, idiotic jokes, car wrecks, prostitutes and terrorists. Just one of those is enough fodder for me to think over for a week, or a month, maybe a lifetime. Why in the world would I bring a stream of them into my home? I don't walk through Times Square, or read newspapers or online news, for the same reason. All I need is a headline or news photo, and perhaps one carefully chosen article about art or psychology, per week. That is plenty. (Times Square: once every ten years? or maybe never again?) But I'll read your blog if you're Julia or Jenny (if she ever posts again), or other normal imperfect moms or thoughtful reflective people. I am not big on blogs that advertise the author's life as if she were, well, auditioning for a position as Domestic Goddess (we all know the reality behind that, and reality is so much more interesting). However I will read your blog if you post helpful sewing tutorials with lots of photos or free patterns. And very easy crock pot recipes.
Being an introvert for me is not wanting to be alone all the time, it's wanting the company of one or two other people I like. I am happy this way, I feel connected, settled, needed, generous. As I write this, I again wish that my dearest friends did not all live so far away!
P.S. Speaking of glimpses into the lives of real people, check out my link above to I Lay My Hat And Wish to Stay. I came upon this photo blog and found it quite a feast for the eyes in the best possible way.
I am reading another book about introversion, this time Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. Well, I just started it last night and I'm only through the Introduction. However, I am already engrossed. On our way home after dinner last night, riding the subway up the West Side, I felt compelled to pull it out and read instead of chatting with my husband. I hate chatting on the subway. Which is just another way I am an introvert, I'd much rather read or silently people watch.
One thing that comes up over and over in the literature about introverts is stimulation. Introverts are generally more sensitive to stimulation, and people are very stimulating. Lots of people are definitely over-stimulating. Having to make small talk with lots of people, wheeeeeew.
I am easily over-stimulated. I don't like taking my kids to the playground, for example. It's a chore to have to interact with all the other moms and dads, make small talk while keeping an eye on Ike and Genevieve. I usually take my kids for a walk in the park instead. I'm thrilled if I run into another mom I know and we can chat while walking. But that free-floating sort of interaction with a bunch of vaguely familiar faces, bleech.
And, although this is nothing special, I hate television. I really hate it, I've always hated it. It's overstimulating: so many people, so many annoying, annoying people. People I Don't Know. On every channel. So many heart breaks, confrontations, absurd expectations, bad choices, ruthless killings, idiotic jokes, car wrecks, prostitutes and terrorists. Just one of those is enough fodder for me to think over for a week, or a month, maybe a lifetime. Why in the world would I bring a stream of them into my home? I don't walk through Times Square, or read newspapers or online news, for the same reason. All I need is a headline or news photo, and perhaps one carefully chosen article about art or psychology, per week. That is plenty. (Times Square: once every ten years? or maybe never again?) But I'll read your blog if you're Julia or Jenny (if she ever posts again), or other normal imperfect moms or thoughtful reflective people. I am not big on blogs that advertise the author's life as if she were, well, auditioning for a position as Domestic Goddess (we all know the reality behind that, and reality is so much more interesting). However I will read your blog if you post helpful sewing tutorials with lots of photos or free patterns. And very easy crock pot recipes.
Being an introvert for me is not wanting to be alone all the time, it's wanting the company of one or two other people I like. I am happy this way, I feel connected, settled, needed, generous. As I write this, I again wish that my dearest friends did not all live so far away!
P.S. Speaking of glimpses into the lives of real people, check out my link above to I Lay My Hat And Wish to Stay. I came upon this photo blog and found it quite a feast for the eyes in the best possible way.
